Don Paglia | Marriage and Family Counseling. Constellations Workshops

Articles

# 5:     GET A MENTOR

If you truly want to excel in your capacity for becoming an effective victim look for other skilled victims to teach you how to best complain, to grovel, and to hone your capacity to be a victim, and especially in how to complain with outrage. Learn by imitating these pros. Every single office or job site seems to have its “Poor-Me” types, its garden-variety negativists, and its Mr. or Mrs. Whiner.

Learn from these “gifted controlling artists” by studying what they do so well, and see what it will take for you to grow into their league. Make friends with any apparent drama queens or kings. Practice whatever you observe from these masters of manipulation. Do not be afraid to put these newly discovered skills you’ve been observing around you into practice wherever you can: at coffee breaks, lunchtimes, after hours, or even better – during actual work time.

This is why schools have teacher’s lounges, and what work cafeterias were made for. Soon you’ll realize how you can take bitching and moaning to new levels. Also, you have the benefit of putting your own body into a state of depression and fatigue, as well as having a similar effect on those around you. This will further cultivate a sense of toxicity permeating from you, and this will reinforce your valiant efforts at victimhood to ever greater heights.

You can, by observation, marvel at the proficiency of these newly discovered pros. They do their complaining with seemingly such ease and commitment regarding whatever they are speaking out about. Also they NEVER offer the slightest hint of a remedy or a solution to whatever complaint or problem they are espousing.

Note how they never assume any personal responsibility in whatever problem they are complaining about. Instead they use “they” and “them” and group people into categories as well. This is so important. Note, too, how they make sweeping generalizations, such as, “nobody” or “everyone.”  This is all part of why they are such masters. It’s why you ought to follow them and pay close attention to their skillful capacity to committed victimhood. There is so much you can learn by befriending such people and drawing upon their alternative ways of thinking and being so out of step – a mismatch – in the world.

News programs, as well as, other media can also offer you ample opportunities to learn from the great ones. These days, especially, there are lots of folks committed to making outrageous critical and negative statements without a shred of evidence to support their comments. And as you know if you say something enough times and it gets repeated often enough it is soon taken as true without the slightest bit of fact checking. You can learn a lot from such bold and troublesome commentaries.

Next week: # 6: CULTIVATE YOUR SENSE OF PARANOIA